Birth Story by Kamal, Hypnobirthing Mum
After months of preparing, gaining knowledge and advocating for the birth I wanted, my little bundle of joy was born exactly on his expected due date. As a second time mum, I was feeling more empowered and informed of my choices and felt more confident with the extra preparation I had done e.g., hypnobirthing class, prenatal yoga and active birthing, natural remedies, etc.
Since my first child was a breech baby and I was told to have a caesarean at 38 weeks, I had not experienced going into labour and therefore was either naïve or in denial of what I was going through. It was father’s day evening and I felt mild cramping. I didn’t sleep much that night but mainly out of curiosity and excitement that things were coming nearer as I was 39 weeks and 5 days. The next day the cramping continued but only lasted a few seconds and I could continue normal activity. I had heard of Braxton hicks and heard that it could last for days so I didn’t think much into it. I don’t recall ever thinking I was in ‘labour’ and was in denial that I would be meeting my baby soon.
My mother offered to look after my toddler son for the day and my husband stayed home. Before my son left, I remember having a picnic outside and trying to get a photo of my son kissing my tummy – failed attempt (he did it off camera). Others around me must have sensed baby was coming soon as I unusually received messages asking how I was going, The surges grew in intensity during the afternoon and evening. I had soft music playing, sniffed some lavender essential oil, was on the exercise ball and did some of the spinning baby exercises. We attempted to go for a walk but my bladder was full so needed to return home. My husband was pushing on some acupressure points to help relieve the tension. The car was already packed, ready to go, so unfortunately some of the things I wanted to labour with were not easily available.
That evening I tried to sleep but it was not happening – I couldn’t get comfortable. I tried watching a movie hoping I would get to sleep. I asked my husband to get the bath ready as I wanted a water birth at the hospital so thought I’d labour in water. I was pleasantly surprised that he had dimmed lighting (with a battery candle) and had soft music playing. As I needed to be on all fours, I didn’t find the bath relaxing however the extra effort he went through, is something I have kept a hold of. I also remember at one point I was saying to myself, ‘This is all too hard, I can’t do this any longer’. I was coming out of the shower and caught myself in the mirror. I took a few moments to breathe in and say some of the positive affirmations that I had been listening to and saying throughout my pregnancy. This gave me the mindset shift to refocus, calm myself down and believe that my body and baby know how to birth.
Another beautiful moment was when my husband gave me a little massage (although it could have lasted longer). The lighting was dim was a salt lamp, music playing and light touch massage/ acupressure to get me through the surges. This helped me feel a little more comfortable and grounded and assisted in preparing me for what was going to come next.
I wanted to labour as much at home so I could avoid going to the hospital too early and having possible interventions as my preference was to have vbac (vaginal birth after a caesarean). My husband and I couldn’t agree on how close my surges were so he supported my decisions. Around 12.20pm I heard a ‘pop’ and didn’t realise that my waters had broken. We made a phone call to the hospital midwife who told us to come to the hospital. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to sit in the car for the journey and wanted to have a shower as the tightness was getting stronger and I was instinctively vocalising. I also felt like I needed to be on the toilet.
As I was getting ready to go to the hospital, I felt the urge to be on my hands and knees. Trained up to be a supportive birth partner/doula/(soon to be impromptu midwife), my husband informed me that he saw the baby’s hair. He calmly rang emergency services and followed the directions given and providing a commentary of the delivery – now I can see the baby’s ears, arm, etc. The umbilical cord was slightly wrapped around baby’s arm and so he untangled it and later informed me he remembered learning in the hypnobirthing class that the cord was elastic so he wasn’t afraid of stretching it a little. Although the first part I wasn’t as calm as I imagined my birthing would be, during the second part, I do recall bearing down and breathing my baby out.
The paramedics arrived about 5 minutes later. I was probably still in a state of shock as I was shaking, so I didn’t even comprehend to find out if I had a boy or girl until 10 minutes later. We had a beautiful baby boy delivered by his proud father at around 1.50am on his estimated due date. I didn’t realise until after contemplating on the events, that I felt empowered advocating what I wanted as I had denied paramedics cutting the cord and having the injection to deliver the placenta. I was surprised that they had no issues with my decision however it was only because I was informed of my choices prior to birth, that I was strong enough to tell the health professionals what I wanted (it was not initially offered to me).
I ended up taking the injection as I did not birth the placenta within hospital guidelines and I also went into surgery for a third degree tear that fortunately I didn’t know I had. I asked to wait before my husband arrived at the hospital as I wasn’t able to make logical decisions. Having the support of my husband who knew what my birthing choices were, helped ease the anxiety.
Every staff member including the obstetrician was surprised to hear our accidently home birth story. At the time, I couldn’t understand why it was a big deal (e.g., no pain relief) however I have come to understand that it was a beautiful miracle and although it wasn’t the ideal, I calmly accepted whatever turn my birthing took. I got what I wanted – a natural vaginal birth. I also realised that the preparation beforehand was not wasted – each of the hypnobirthing toolbox was used throughout my labour in different ways without me realising it. Although I didn’t get to set up or use the things in my labour bag, I had the comfort and space of my own home (when I did arrive at the hospital, I was glad I laboured at home as I had the freedom).
With my first pregnancy, I just went with the flow, only attending hospital birthing class (which was more about pain relief options) and was working up until 38 weeks (I ended up having the caesarean on what was meant to be my last day of work). I thought I would be bored staying at home and only left the last 2 weeks to do ‘research’.
We were more focused on what to buy/products/items rather than preparing for birth. The doctor and midwife appointments felt like just check ups so I didn’t gain much knowledge or support. Therefore I felt ill informed and not empowered with all the knowledge I gained afterwards that I could have tried or implemented (e.g., seeding, chiropractor), etc.
Preparing for birth can be an overwhelming experience and information overload, however doing the hypnobirthing course, really assisted in providing practical tools and learning about anatomy and physiology helped to understand why things are recommended. Having my husband do the course also meant we were a team throughout the pregnancy and I wasn’t doing it on my own.
If I am completely honest, I was initially disappointed in my hypnobirthing attempt however soon realised that my perfectionist personality wanted an ‘A’ grade of the ideal birth (my own grading system). My mind wasn’t completely at rest listening to the tracks but it was heartening to know that even if you fell off to sleep, it was sinking in. Also after reflecting on all the alternatives and possible outcomes (e.g., questioning some of decisions made – should have we left for the hospital earlier), I realised I had the ideal birth for myself and my baby. My baby is happy, healthy and calm – what more can a parent ask for. If I was to have my time back again, I would make sure that the items I packed away in my birth/labour bag (visualisation, affirmations, fairy lights, etc) were part of my labour process at home.
The hypnobirthing tools and techniques I used during my pregnancy include – listening to the hypnobirthing tracks, light touch massages and spinning babies techniques by my husband and sometimes my toddler son, diffusing lavender essential oil, dim lighting, reading articles (I liked Sarah Buckley’s article about hormones), my own fear release closer to the time and recorded my husband’s voice for some of the tracks. Some other tips given that I implemented was changing my partner’s profile on my phone to ‘……. (name) positive calm birth,’ changed my computer password at work to +calmbirth2019 (I have since changed it), creating a vision board with cut out from a magazine of things I would like my pregnancy to be, creating a visualisation of artistic birthing pictures, having the bearing down picture in bathroom and positive affirmations on my wall.
We now have a beautiful hypnobub and the pregnancy and birth journey seems like it was a decade ago, however the hypnobirthing techniques are tools for life. I also don’t think that the hypnobirthing techniques are for the birth but was a plan in place to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare you for the birth. The months and weeks beforehand are critical to help you get in the positive mind frame and this doesn’t happen overnight. It also provided a framework to keep calm throughout the pregnancy. What a journey it has been and now on the other side of pregnancy, the time spent also preparing for our postpartum was something we are grateful for to ease the steps into parenthood.
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