Birth Story by Karli, Hypnobirthing Mum
“I know that without my hypno training I would have panicked and lost control of myself and my orientation to time and place. I also would have gone into the experience full of fear and allowed others to make decisions for me.”
I had a gentle and short onset to labour. As surges began to present themselves in the early hours of the morning, I put on my birth playlist, set up candles and affirmation cards and did some slow yoga stretches before hoping back into bed. Later that morning my waters broke and soon after the intensity of my surges ramped right up. My midwife arrived an hour later and in hindsight she let me know that judging by my behaviour at that time she believes I was about 6-7cm dilated already.
Surges progressed, I moved to the shower and then the birth pool. My partner and I had been trying a few different tools, but I found being still and quiet was the best way for me to move from surge to surge and the only way I could handle the intensity during a surge was to expel the energy out of my body using my voice.
After some time I moved out of the birth pool to try some other postures as there was some concern around timeframes and my progression. I was fully dilated at this point and we were getting ready for Peyton to come down. Peyton was eventually born at 4:15pm in our bedroom, while I was standing up and leaning forward into my partner.
Birthing Peyton at the end was the hardest part mentally but surprisingly, it was the easiest part physically. Mentally I really had to surrender & let go so she could come down the birth path & out. For some time she moved down, then back up again and it was a real mental game for me. I also knew time was ticking & it was up to me to surrender to the experience once and for all so she could come through to us in our home. I remember feeling fearful to allow this to happen and this space is where I really felt I practised my hypno techniques and mentally coached myself to ‘let go’ and ‘let her come through.’ I used my bearing down breath and recited affirmations to allow her to come down.
Birth was so much more than I had imagined and things unfolded really differently to what I visualised would happen for me. It felt different in my body, I felt pain, I responded differently, I didn’t use the tools I thought I would and I struggled to stay focussed and to regulate my breath. I felt fearful, I asked for drugs and parts of me hoped we might have to go to hospital so I could somehow escape what I was feeling and hurry the process along.
After birth, I felt conflicted about how I handled the experience. I thought maybe the hypno training didn’t work for me, maybe I didn’t study hard enough, maybe I succumbed too much to my fears and let myself down in some way. Surprisingly, my midwife and my partner saw the experience very differently. My partner said had our birth been filmed it would have looked much like those we watched with Kate. My midwife said the birth was very calm and gentle for Peyton, and had we been in hospital I would have definitely been pressured for intervention as my surges were quite irregular and there were times of slow progress. She said my body would not have worked for me in hospital due to my fears and the end result would have unfolded very differently.
I was so grateful to hear this because it made me realise that even though it didn’t look the way I thought it would, my birth was calm and it was gentle and I did bring our baby into the world the way we had hoped to. It assured me that we made the right decision for our birth pathway and it was really just my expectations that were causing the mental conflict.
I also realised that my perspective of what the birth looked like was very different to those who were there seeing it happen. I know that without my hypno training I would have panicked and lost control of myself and my orientation to time and place. I also would have gone into the experience full of fear and allowed others to make decisions for me. Instead, I felt confident, safe and excited leading up to birth. Birthing in our new home with only my midwife and my partner by my side was exactly how I wanted it to be and we were able to achieve this. I was blessed to have had a very gentle recovery and I know this would have also been impacted greatly had we birthed in hospital.
Thank you Kate, for everything you taught us. Without our hypno training I know I would have had no chance at staying calm and having a gentle birth for Peyton and it certainly would have been a negative experience. Peyton is such a beautiful soul and I’m so glad we created the space we did for her to come earth side, even though it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
Karli
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